My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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