We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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