I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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