I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
