were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
