woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
