I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
