Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
