im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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