He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
