No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
