I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize