Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
