he told me I talked like a deaf person
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Randomize
