we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
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