haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
two words...techno handjob
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
