Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
