You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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