I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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