Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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