She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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