I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.