She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is