No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
