She is in my trunk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
