Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Can Purell be used as lube?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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