called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
