I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
