he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
