I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
