We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
