I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
