I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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