Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
