Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
