I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
