I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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