I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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