Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
