You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize