This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
