I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
These tits shall not be calmed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
