On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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