what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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