Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Enjoy the penises
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize