Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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