So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
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Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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