you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
