Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
