Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
