She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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