That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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