He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
