please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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