he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
