I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
