I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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