It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
