i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
