This girl is more easily done than said...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
