My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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